fanta fanta no coke

toebyeus:

I don’t lose followers, followers lose me

k1mkardashian:

please don’t pop your pussy i just mopped the floor 

snadwich:

hmm this porn really needs more character development

 

“Hello Lifealert”

“Hello Stella, are you okay?”

“… is your refrigerator running?”

“Stella, we’re all getting a little tired of your bullshit”

bosimba:

sometimes i forget how old i am and when people irl ask how old i am i hesitate for like 5 seconds because i cant remember

br0crastinator:

Today I showed my friend a cut on my hand and I asked if it looked infected, he said maybe I should put some alcohol on it, alcohol! ALCOHOL? SO I STOOD UP AND PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE AND THEN DRANK HIS TEARS AND SAID “IM STRAIGHT FUCKING EDGE I’LL SEE YOU IN THE FUCKIN PIT

i just don’t know how to do anything right do i?

tunnnelsnakesrule:

zombieinmybutt:

tunnnelsnakesrule:

jesscats:

josh hutcherson’s parents are probably called josh hutcherdad and josh hutchermom

actually their names are chris hutcherson and michelle hutcherson

So tell me, 

When did you graduate from Killjoke University?

2004 i was valedictorian 

ppa-c:

u changed ur url, icon, and theme at the same time

people who send themselves asks to look relevant

nicki-minaj-a-trois:

literallysame:

send me your credit card numbers and i’ll rate your blog(:

troyyy:

Paris, France is actually named after Paris Hilton

sskeeze:

I wonder if Adele’s baby was planned or if it just turned up out of the blue uninvited